(From March 3, 2012)
It's 5:09 am, I can't sleep, and another really bad tornado has just ripped through Atlanta and apparently more than a handful of people have perished by the forces of mother nature :(... their lives have ended just like that! It makes me wonder, even more than I already do, about what I'm doing with the life I have been blessed to have another day to enjoy...
Although I tend to avoid watching or reading about news (particularly the grim kind) I just happened to scroll through some headlines that popped up on my android; you know the one via my homescreen-weather-widget. As they say "There's an app for that!" and now as I sit up writing this blahg, because I felt like clearing my thoughts they are now rushing through my mind; just like the scattered thunderstorms just hours before.
This week has been full of ups and downs for me, as I'm sure many of us might also say. (The main difference being that I like to share my thoughts and ideas about things... and am certainly not shy about sharing the details of my life with basically anyone who's interested to read about it all...) One of my facebook friends fweeted* "May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook." and I immediately "liked" it hahaha. That, sadly has been one of the rare times I've see someone write something that felt of substance and HONEST, sticking out like a refreshing sore-thumb amidst the damned two-dimensional-digital "World" that we've all been sucked and play into.
Go here for a funny blog about how "Facebook is Evil";
http://blog.steveskojec.com/2012/02/01/why-facebook-is-evil/
When thinking about social media and FB, the word narcissism immediately comes to mind. Also it peeves me that descriptions of my beloved star sign Libra are often riddled with the word and often compel me to jump into a sort of defense mode every time.
Despite of the madness we've devolved to accept via channels like Facebook and other mainstream media which sadly SUPPORT people's NEGATIVE depictions of narcissism (i.e. the classless, violent women of basketball wives, or the tactless, irresponsible males of the Jersey shore) VERSUS my urge to defend my honor, I've realized that what I've actually hoped to accomplish was to entertain the idea that narcissism could be seen in a positive light instead of always beneath negative undertones.
((Thanks to wikipedia my instincts have been confirmed! turns out; "In psychology, the term 'narcissism' is used to describe both normal self-love and unhealthy self-absorption due to a disturbance in the sense of self."
>>>WOW Random UPDATE Found via >>>
http://leondale.com/2010/09/25/good-like-candy/
-Leon Dale the kindest, most unique and professional photographer I've had the pleasure to work with writes; "Only Kola, as I knew her when we first met, is a wonderful mix of different cultures which is evident by her startling features and cosmopolitan nature. Kola is also a joy to work with. She’s polite and punctual and always wears those two most important accessories– a platinum smile and Gold Embossed confidence. If you don’t have those two essentials in your bag, don’t bother entering the studio.
For real.
Kola has good energy and lots of it! She’s always into something, always keeping busy, promoting, modeling, traveling, shes a Spokes Model, Violinist, Designer, Thespian– I wouldn’t be surprised to see her pop up in a movie or get into politics fighting for the rights of the poor and under-served!
Kola hails from The Big Apple, and can be found either here in the Atl or somewhere on the planet globe trotting." <<<< Wow that's so sweet, I'm glad I found this... :) Thanks Leon! ~3/6/12 (Mind you- I'm editing and GOOGLING while I'm posting this previously written blahg...) and
I really want to stress the fact that although you might Google 'Kola Atlanta' and find all sorts of photos and info about my previous work- I wouldn't be surprised if you assumed that I'm just like many of the general population of narcissistic females in the world today who just wants attention and 15 minutes of fame, but the entire opposite is true...
I've always been a "quality over quantity" type of gal, even when it comes to monetary gain. Of course I realize the importance and "security" provided by having money, however I've never really wanted for anything except to see that my family and I are healthy, well-fed and happy! My mentors always remind me that I must have multiple-streams of income, especially streams that work while I sleep! So now I have even more motivation to expand my horizons and expectations so that I can help the bigger picture...
If you've ever noticed I always refer to my entries as "blahgs". I'd never want to be called a "blogger" because I was just doing what I've done since I was old enough to write. I like to express my individuality in every way possible, I feel I enjoy doing this by making up new words, lol! I just decided one day to start publishing my personal diaries sporadically, with random thoughts within and the idea that "If I post them, whoever is meant to find them will. Be them moved to laugh, cry, be inspired, think I'm crazy or just spark the thought process, I'm happy to leave a mark either way."
For the past 23 years of my life I've written everything from fictional stories to rap lyrics for fun, scribbled about romanticistic possibilities with adolescent crushes (a lot), accomplished almost everything I've ever wanted to experience thus far and yet found myself in a recent funk and feelings of disappointment in myself for fearing I was not being as productive as "possible" these past few days, when the fact is that every day I learn something new! That in and of itself is not something everyone can or even cares to do, so I should be always be proud of myself for it, shouldn't I? I believe so.
The fact remains that I've finally discovered the beautiful truth that I CAN do what I want AND get what I need... without sacrificing who I am to do it but instead embracing every part of me. I'm ready to share my stories and insight so that I may entertain and inspire others! In the meantime I look forward to gaining personal and financial support for my work so that I can continue to grow, branch out and help others acheive the type of enlightenment that I've come to enjoy in my life!
For me, I'd have to say knowledge is my passion, and I actually have an old name tag from when I used to bartend at the Sundial bar atop the Westin Peachtree Hotel, engraved with those very words!
I remember applying for that position, interviewing and being hired the same day. I recall going through a terribly long orientation, getting a headache at the end of my first night on-duty because apparently working on a moving platform (however slowly rotating) CAN cause a sort of motion sickness if you're not ready for it (lol).
I spent several interesting months on the job and then quit because it wasn't fulfilling any purpose in my life other than making money for me. I remember the H.R. lady saying 'We are like a family here and quite frankly we spend just as much, if not MORE time here than we get to at home with our own families..." and the horrifying truth is that MOST of us DO and have been brainwashed into believing that THIS is the reality we must accept and adhere to. It's not only UNFAIR it's RIDICULOUS! Why would a system that claims to support education, family values, and fair practice do NOTHING but make empty promises in exchange for VOTES while we go BACK to work and feel miserable, unimportant and unfulfilled in our everyday liveS?
I've been in similar situations in my past... APPLY-INTERVIEW-WORK-MOVE ON! APPLY-INTERVIEW-WORK-MOVE ON!
Over and over whether by my choosing, because a contract ended or because things just didn't work out, I PARTICIPATED in the creation of my life and thus continually sought NEW opportunities to enrich myself and those around me, isn't this actually a realistic ideal to strive for? Isn't VARIETY the spice of life? Don't more than 1% of society deserve to experience and see the world FOR themselves and with the ones they love?
(Speaking of getting involved in politics to help the underserved... GA has got a long way to come in the area of anti-discrimination protection for employees, but that's a whole different subject) Yet there I was, still having the option of juggling multiple opportunities and feeling unsatisfied.
I didn't want to seem like a jerk, admitting to accepting and quitting jobs not because things weren't "perfect" rather because things weren't good enough for ME, and there is a difference. Ultimately I've always felt in my heart and in my bones that I must refuse to 'WORK-to-LIVE' and strive to find joy, meaning and purpose in what I do so that I CAN LIVE and LOVE MY WORK!
Of course while some might assume that yes, I do have the luxury to be more picky and free-willed than the average joe, since I am not married nor with child; when you think about it, haven't we all?
Can you be annoyed or envious of my situation because you work a 9-5, hate your bosses and yourself for what you do or put up with, but do it because you're stuck feeling as though it's all about SETTLING in order to earn money to survive? There's no such thing as 'Job Security' anymore, hell, what kind of SECURITY can we really RELY on at all?
At the end of every day... isn't Life just the culmination of choices YOU have made for yourself up to this point? The answer is yes. Everything results from someone's decision. The issue and the question is; WHO REALLY HAS POWER OVER YOUR LIFE?
Now of course you can be annoyed or envious if YOU CHOOSE; but what I'm hoping instead is that you get motivated and moved to make changes to find your purpose in life... despite adversity or circumstance. (::Phew!::Eventually I get to my points, yes? :])
Here I am still, it's now 6:02 a.m. and this all began with my own thoughts of feeling concerned restlessness which morphed into insomnia then pondering and *POOF* I decided to stop wasting any more time. I got right back on to the Google search bar I'm on everyday already and started exploring once again, through my thoughts, the world wide web, hoping to find the switch that makes the lightbulbs above my head flicker with GLEE! (Because as you know I have more than one bulb up there of course...) Searching to find whatever I could pursue immediately in order to make myself feel like I was back on my "productive" track and everything lead me back to the realization most prevalent in my life; knowledge is power.
The Chameleon Usually when I get up or stay up and start writing these blahgs it's because I've had some sort of energizing ephiphany and yet once I begin writing find myself thrilled to discover even more building up from the content as it manifests.
On this day I feel I've finally, in 27 years come full-circle in understanding what MY purpose is, why I feel compelled to pursue it and who it serves.
Now for any of you who know me and who may have read my long, colorful entries in that past, I'm sure you're again at the point where you're scanning and thinking "ok what will be her "moral of the story" this time" aka "what new project will she embark upon now" and so I'll tell you! I'm going to become a RECORDING ARTIST. LOL- no seriously I am going to start recording my blahgs, ORGANIZING CONTENT, and subtract the visual stimulation from my video logs because while it may have initially seemed like just another narcissistic move it's actually everything I've ever needed that was always right under my nose... my voice alone! No distractions, all ears... meaning yours of course ;)
"Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered..." I've fought my way here to take back the power that I thought was falling right through my fingertips, but was in fact just waiting patiently for me to stop grasping for and take ownership of it. The fact is, my fine friends, that yours truly is a proud wealth of knowledge but what use is it all to me unless purveyed?!?
I feel as though I have finally realized that I just want to GET OUT OF my own way, strip off all the NONSENSE that exists around who people think I am, who I once thought I should be, what people expect me to be, and actually make them listen and hope they learn from me!
Regardless if you may be thinking "What's a 27 year old chick got to teach me?!" and the truth is I have no idea... What you absorb will be up to you. If you've gotten this far into my story, stick with me! You're HERE for a REASON! :)
All I know is that IF you want to call me anything call me 'Renaissance Chick' because I'm inviting you to be apart of this new phase in my life and ask that you be open for a renewal of YOUR own too!
It's a war out there and only knowing who you are and finding yourself will be your key to thriving and finding purpose in it.
My weapons of choice? An ocean of experience, a wealth of knowledge, a passion for exploration and unwavering faith that tells me that now is my time to speak up and make my mark on the world.
*Lightning in our shared sky resembles exactly that of our nervous system... relevant? Absolutely...*
I invite you all to join me on this new journey because I envision it taking us all down winding paths from our own memory lanes and into the unknown.
My only question now is; are you ready to listen and be apart of it all?
Here's to believing you will!
Love always,
Kola
xoxo
P.S. If you've enjoyed my post and look forward to learning more about me, my projects and how you can help. Feel free to send me a note and add request on www.facebook.com/kolachampagne. Currently I am working as an indepedent marketing spokes model for various spirits brands, developing a marketing campaign for a state-of-the-art new sports bar and club in Georgia, and looking forward to getting back on my violin and always using my love of the arts and people to give back, motivate and inspire those whom I come into contact with! To pledge your support to my cause- stay tuned for fund raising information or simply reach out to discuss how we can barter services to help each other! I look forward to your responses and thank you so much for reading!
May All Beings Be Happy! :)
#swag
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