I just experienced what will probably go down in my history as the most INTENSE but REWARDING 10-days of my LIFE...
Through what I can only consider an act of God (or higher power, whatever you want to call IT) I came upon this website - www.Dhamma.org - thanks to a friend of a friend.
Now at first glance at the site one might think 'Hmm, spiritual mumbo-jumbo' or 'Ahhh that must be another type of "New Age" pseudo-religious practice' etc. etc... but I assure you- You'd be TOTALLY WRONG! So remember to always keep an OPEN MIND.
Just the way I tend not to read too much into movie reviews or even care to 'preview' certain things before I go out and experience them, so I overheard my buddy mention something about a Meditation Retreat- the same morning I laid hungover with about 8 other friends after a birthday celebration that inevitably turned slumber party... lol. Now me being the 'spiritual, but not religious' type that I am- I've never delved too deeply into the history of any religions, even being raised a Christian kid, still haven't managed to read beyond 'Exodus' (Chapter 2 in the Bible?) and was always oddly drawn to the depressing pages of 'Revelations' ever since I was a kid. However- also since my early childhood I can recall being at church, dressed to the nines in a purple velvet dress (complete with an obnoxiously large color-coordinated head bow) shoved into a room of a bunch of kids I'd never met before- all singing songs about God and Jesus that I'd never heard before... and thinking to myself "What the HELL is going on in here?!" LOL! At FIVE YEARS OLD I questioned the very 'thing' that I was told CREATED the Earth on which I walk and the SUN that shone down upon me every morning- but I couldn't help it. I couldn't just JOIN the CROWD. To this day I am still just as inquisitive about the things that go on around me. I could say I was probably just as UNSURE about those same things that were going on... Today I am amazed, humbled and thrilled to say that I am unsure no more. I have Vipassana to thank for that.
While I could go on for HOURS explaining how each of those 10 days were filled with pricesless moments where I was forced to deal with not only pleasant but extremely unpleasant thoughts and real moments where I felt SO alive and in touch with myself and with nature... I'll just let you see for yourself the ROLLERCOASTER ride my thoughts went on as I chose to create an 'illegal' diary while I was there. I felt it was absolutely necessary for me in order to maintain some kind of sanity in the moments where I felt completely out of sorts- and likewise I hope that the way in which I expressed the realizations that I became aware of will touch and inspire you... in any way at all.
While the beginning pages aren't terribly legible- I feel the BEST parts are on DAY 7-10, and day 4 and 5 and 6 lol... I'll just let you be 'the judge' and feel free to question or comment on anything you've read (or are unable to read lol) I have learned SO MUCH about EVERYTHING thanks to Vipassana, but most of all I've learned that I AM THE SOURCE of all my sadness and happiness. Noone has or will ever again have the POWER over me to make me feel anything other than what I choose to feel. Thanks to the lessons and precepts I was taught and REMINDED of (Don't STEAL, Don't KILL, Don't Participate in Sexual Misconduct, Don't Intoxicate yourself and Don't LIE!)I can now say that with the decisions- rather the COMMITTMENT that I've made to MYSELF during and after this experience has now enabled me to be more FOCUSED and EAGER than ever to pursue my dreams- no matter how HARD and LONG I must work to fulfill them ALL. Vipassana has taught me that I AM a FORCE to be reckoned with- and now that I choose to life my life RIGHT, I know that I CAN do anything I set my mind to do, and I will. Watch me :)
I wear my heart on my sleeve and I wear it proudly!
Here's my journal, from the beginning... to the end... to the beginning... ENJOY!
*May ALL Beings Be Happy!*
Love Always,
Kola
Part 1. (Actually began on Day 3, but this is the first full entry)
